I was ready for bed. As was my routine, when the commercials on the
news program came on, I went to wash my face and do all the things
we women do to get ready for bed. I put on my pajamas and then
walked back to the den to continue watching the news. As I sat
down on the couch, I looked up and saw double of everything in
the room. I said to my husband, "Something is wrong. I'm seeing
two of everything". I cupped my hands over my eyes in the hopes
they would re-focus. I looked up again and nothing had changed---there
were two of everything.
I got up and walked around the room for a few minutes and then
again sat down and cupped my hands over my eyes and looked up.
Nothing changed. I was not in any pain whatsoever so I decided
to go to bed. As is my custom, I went to check my e-mail in my
office before retiring for the night. I normally would have gone
directly to the bedroom and gone to bed. If I had done that this night, I don't
think I would be here today.
That night, as I came out of the office and was headed down the hall,
I remembered I had forgotten my water bottle, and I suddenly got
quite dizzy. So instead of going to bed, I went back into the
den and sat down right in front of my husband. I said, "I am
still seeing double of everything. What do you think this is?"
He said, "I don't know but I'll get you a wet washcloth to put
on your forehead." As he got up to get the washcloth, I
responded with some smart-aleck remark, like "I don't think
a wet washcloth is going to help my vision". And he said,
"Here, put this on your head". So I decided to lie down on
the couch. As soon as I changed positions, I was out cold.
They were calling it a "coma".
I heard my husband yelling at me to wake up. and I felt the couch
moving as he shook me. But I couldn't respond---I seemed to be
suspended in space and time, with no control over anything.
Then I heard my husband say he had called 911 and they were on
their way.
I was furious---that was going to disturb all the
neighbors---my gosh, they send out a fire truck first with
that awful foghorn sound. then an ambulance with the sirens,
and no telling what else. If I could have moved my leg,
I would have kicked him, just to get his attention and let
him know we could do this without disturbing the neighbors
like that. Little did I know that quite a few things had
happened in between my off-and-on-awareness of what was
going on in the room. When Curt saw that my left hand
had clinched into a fist and the left side of my face
had drooped into a classic "stroke" expression, he knew
what had happened---I had had a stroke.
It seems my husband called his son, Dr. Lane Jacobs, in North Carolina.
North Carolina is in a different time zone-it was an hour later there-almost
midnight. Normally, the answering machine would have been on for the
night. It just so happened that Lane's wife, Tamara, had stayed up
late that night to read a book and immediately answered the phone.
She was the one instructing Curt to try to wake me. When Curt
couldn't get me awake, she woke Lane, and he instructed Curt to
call 911.
Lane was telling Curt that there is a drug, known as TPA, which, if
administered within 2-3 hours after the onset of a stroke, can work
miracles. Lane knew about this drug and knew time was critical.
Several tests (blood tests, lung x-ray, CAT Scan of the brain) have
to be conducted on the patient before the drug can be administered.
And, this drug is custom mixed, based on certain criteria unique
to the patient, like weight. All these steps take time, and the
window was 2 to 3 hours. So Lane worked not only with Curt but
with the medics on the ambulance run, the doctor in the emergency room,
and others along the way. It was critical all steps be performed
as quickly and accurately as possible to give this drug its best
shot at helping me recover from this stroke.
I remember very little after Curt's comment that he had called 911.
But the fire truck responded first to our house and then the ambulance.
The crews were extremely efficient and started the transport to the
hospital within 15 or 20 minutes. Lane's instructions were to go
to the nearest hospital that had this drug and that was St. Francis
Hospital. So that is where we went. I remember the medics telling
the ambulance driver to "take it easy" during the ride, so we must
have made it in record time.
I recall being lifted on and off of tables or beds many times.
And I remember being asked over and over and over by different
people to push on something with my feet and to squeeze their hand
with mine. There was always silence or one spoken word, the word, "nothing".
I knew I was not passing any of their tests and was not doing too well.
The next thing I remember was someone whispering these words: "God, you
know how to use this drug. We ask that you take over now", or something
to that effect. The voice was female and it was almost like a whisper,
directly in my left ear. The left side was my "impacted" side, as the
nurse called it, so I thought it was significant that I heard this
prayer in my left ear.
It turns out my husband, my daughter, Tianna, and my step-daughter,
Julie, were all in the Emergency Room with me. They had decided to
pray for me as the drug was administered. And the voice I heard was
Julie's, as they gathered around me in prayer. They then stood by
in the hopes that they would see some improvement.
Within 30 minutes, I heard the nurse say "Look at that"---I had raised
my left leg! Within another 15 or 20 minutes, they watched as my left
hand uncurled and I was able to squeeze the nurse's hand. And within
an hour, my face had relaxed into its normal position. Although I was
not aware of it, there was a lot of "Joy" in that room that night, not
only from my family but from the nurses and doctors, who said they
rarely get to see this drug work like this because most stroke victims
do not get to the hospital quickly enough.
The next thing I remember was waking up in the Intensive Care Unit with
a nurse standing beside me. After she got me settled in, she allowed Curt, Tianna
and Julie to come into the room for a few minutes. It was
now 3:00 in the morning. Everyone was curious as to whether I
was still seeing double. The first thing I said to them as they
walked in the room is "I see two of each of you." They had their answer.
We talked for a few minutes, and then I was able to rest. I awoke
about 9:00 the next morning. I was still seeing two of everything.
I went back
to sleep and when I awoke about 11:00 a.m. my vision was back to normal
and has stayed that way ever since.
Throughout that day, doctors and nurses who came into the room told me,
"I heard about you". I think the staff was as excited as
we were that things transpired as they did to reach this
perfect outcome. One of the doctors told me I was the
second person in nine years of working with this drug that had
this kind of complete recovery.
The ICU staff could not believe
I could move my limbs, raise my arm and talk with no difficulty
whatsoever. I felt almost guilty taking up a bed in ICU;
I think I was the only patient in the Unit who was conscious.
But, the protocol for TPA requires close monitoring for 24 hours
plus administrating another CAT Scan to make sure there was no
hemorrhaging in the brain.
By early evening, I was scheduled for the second CAT Scan. I was able
to get onto the table in the x-ray room by myself and move myself back
onto the gurney for the trip back to my room. The next morning, I got
the news---the CAT Scan came back perfect.
My attending doctors decided I could go home at 3:00 p.m. that day,
and I was discharged directly from ICU to home. The ICU nurses said
they did not even know how to discharge a patient. Stroke patients
are always sent first to a room on another floor and then to rehab
for a few weeks. Then they are discharged home to learn to cope with
their disabilities.
But, thanks to a Host of Angels around that night in the form of
wonderful people being in the right place at the right time doing
the right things to help me on this journey, that was not my experience.
And another Host of Angels were praying for me in several different churches
and several different states. The Perfection of that experience overwhelms
me, and I am filled with Joy beyond words as I think of how things
"could have been". I continue to have no residual effects of the
stroke and every day am getting stronger and stronger.
My heartfelt thanks go out to each of you, my very special
"Host of Angels"!
Love and Light, Ruth
RADICAL FORGIVENESS
CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD
A Host of Angels